i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize