its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Four minutes until I can fart!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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