and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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