My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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