she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
