There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
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this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
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Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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