i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we're making bets on your personal life
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
