I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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