you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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