dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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