It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I want to fling myself into the sun
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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