normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
