the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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