Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
