Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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