You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
