I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
