So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
