I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
