Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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