Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
