I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You can't motorboat a personality
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
