You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
