Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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