wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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