this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We got so high we made milksteak
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
