She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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