who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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