How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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