Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
