good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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