she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
