butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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