He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
