He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
