i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You're like the curious george of whores
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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