I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
