just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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