just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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