Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
