we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
