oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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