Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
