she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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