I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
