what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
