forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I touched a dick in church today
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
