i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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