im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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