omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
