she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
