what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
