Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We have started to decorate penises.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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