I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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