I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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