Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
