I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm drive I can fine osifer
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We talked him into tasing himself.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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