yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
