so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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