i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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