I can't watch pbs sober anymore
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
