Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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