how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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