this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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