All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
