Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
They took my balls.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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