distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
