better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's shark week go big or go home
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
