My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
