i already hear my dad disowning me
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Did I show you my penis last night?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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