i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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