Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
