im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
